There is no particular moment that stood out to me when I realized I was healing from the loss of my youngest son. Every once in a while I would catch a glimpse of peace or calm within my heart. I had to give myself permission to heal, to be happy, and even smile. Our children want us to heal and enjoy life to the fullest. They are very much aware of our grief, love, and fortitude.
You deserve to be happy every day of your life Mom
Guilt is a very selfish companion of grief. Our minds conjure up every ‘what if’ scenario that pushes us further into grief and helplessness. We can be ruthless in punishing ourselves for not being a better parent, not strict enough, or too strict. Regardless of how you lost your child, parents do not have the power to control the universe. Guilt has no logic either.
I still cry and miss the future without my son’s physical presence. Healing doesn’t mean we’ve stopped loving our children or forgot them and moved on without them in our life. They are tucked safely within our heart and soul. As we learn to cherish the gift of having our children for whatever time was given to us, along with the unconditional love from that particular relationship, we do start healing our heart and soul.